


Little Dove

by BurningRain



Category: Negan - Fandom, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 11:10:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9232265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurningRain/pseuds/BurningRain
Summary: This was written in response to a request made by @chezzaz on tumblr for a character named CJ who is deaf being found by Negan and the relationship they build after he takes a special interest in her.





	

The autumn wind ruffled my hair, disturbing my stillness as I kept my eyes shut tight. The bite of gravel under my knees kept me grounded as I counted out my breaths.

I wasn't particularly close to the people on either side of me but, even without being able to hear what the mustachioed man was saying, I knew we were in deep shit.

My head snapped up as my brain registered a bang loud enough that even my mangled hearing could just pick up. It had been the door to the RV slamming open. Out stepped a tall, lean man who carried himself like a god. A brilliant smile stretched across his handsome face accented by a well-groomed salt and pepper beard. 

For a moment I forgot to be afraid, right up until I caught sight of the barbed wire wrapped baseball bat that glinted threateningly in the moonlight.

I watched his full lips move, struggling to read the words as they formed. The timbre of his voice was very deep and, though I'm sure I would have loved it before, it was too low for me to hear beyond a general velvety rumble punctuated with an occasional inflection. Thought I had no earthly idea of what he was saying his face was very emotive. The excited grin coupled with the body language of a predator told me that I ought to be far more afraid than I currently was.

I watched as he moved with lightening speed, bringing the bat down on Jacob's head who had knelt immediately to my left. I jumped as hot, sticky blood and flesh were flung at me as the charming maniac continued to obliterate Jacob.

Watching his head split like an old melon I was momentarily grateful for the complete loss of hearing on that side.

My right ear could faintly make out hysterical sobs that I knew without looking belonged to Callie. I stared down at Jacobs's scattered brains until a slick leather clad hand gripped my chin and I came eye to eye with the handsome monster himself. 

His brow was furrowed in anger as he spoke in sharply punctuated bursts if hit breath against my face but at such close proximity I couldn't even begin to read what he was saying. A woman's muffled voice tickled my brain in scattered syllables. The man's face softened as he continued to look me over, the hand gripping my chin releasing as he flicked a bit of bone from my cheek. 

He spoke again and I could feel the vibrations in my chest, he was so close. The mustachioed man stepped forward with a notepad and a pen. I watched as the killer gripped the cap between his teeth and let it rest between plump lips as he wrote hurriedly on the pad. He offered it to me and I took it, eyeballing him wearily. He wrote in perfect cursive:

"Hello, my name is Negan. I'm in charge around here. What is your name, beautiful?"

I blushed a little despite myself and despite the blood pooling around my knees. I wrote quickly, excited to be having my first real conversation with another person in months.

"Hello Negan, my name is CJ."

For a moment I completely forgot about the murdered man to my left. I didn't really know any of these people aside from butchered attempts at finger spelling their names in introduction and what I'd learned from watching them. Seeing Jacob dying such a brutal death had been horrific but I wasn't going to mourn him as a friend. I handed the notebook back and watched his eyes flit over my neatly penned response.

"You and your friends here work for me now. In return for my protection from some of the nastier motherfuckers that lurk around, you folks will be sharing half of what you find, make, or otherwise poses with me and mine."

He passed the notebook back and watched me closely as I read. I scoffed and his eyebrows jumped up into his hairline. I gestured for the pen and he relinquished.

"They are not my friends. They do not know me and I hardly know them. As far as taking half of everything, knock yourself out. Half of nothing is still nothing." I shoved the notepad back at him, eyebrow quirked defiantly. The corners of his hazel eyes crinkled as he read and a smile tugged at the corners of his lips which were still pursed around the pen cap. "I like you, CJ. What do you say to coming to live at my sanctuary? You can earn your own way rather than surround yourself with these chumps for protection. It's safe, as long as you play by the rules, and I think I have just the job for you." I shot him a distrusting look before taking the pen back. "And just what kind of job might that be, Negan?" A smirk graced his rugged features as he scribbled. "How do you feel about libraries?" I felt my face light up as I read. A real library. Those had been one of my favorite places back before everything fell apart. I pushed aside unpleasant thoughts and tore the pen from his slender fingers. "YES" Negan grinned at me with a brilliance that made my heart skip. "Well then, my Dove, follow me." He handed the down the pad and stood, offering me a hand. I'd never been in for pet names but reading it gave me butterflies. I took his hand without hesitation and followed him to the RV without looking back. He opened the door and bowed, gesturing for me to go in first. I curtsied dramatically and felt him rumble in laughter next to me. It was dark inside the TV but enough moonlight shone through the windows that I could get a decent look at my surroundings. I looked over my shoulder to see that Negan had not yet followed me in. I stepped deeper into the large vehicle and had a quick look around.

The RV had definitely seen better days but was in pretty good shape, all things considered. The shelves were fully stocked with food and medical supplies and the modest sleeping quarters was not only intact but looked recently used. A large hardbound book may open on the slightly rumpled duvet. I picked it up, careful to keep its place, and read the spine.

THE COMPLETE WORKS OF ERNEST HEMMINGWAY

The sharp crack of metal on metal startled me and I turned in time to come face to chest with Negan. The puzzled expression he worse melted into a nonchalant smile as he took the book from me. He said something and, as I stared blankly at him, gestured at the notepad still clutched in one hand. I passed it over, in no mood to act apologetic about not being able to hear him.

"He was a bitter old drunk but I kinda like his shit anyways. It really resonates with me, especially nowadays."

"Yours?"

I looked at him incredulously.

"Yeah don't look so surprised."

He flashed me a grin before sauntering back to the front of the RV. He paused only to gesture at the bench seats at the table before sliding up to the drivers seat and starting it up. He waited for me to take my seat before laying on the accelerator. I enjoyed the feeling of the the unwieldy vehicle rumbling through the roads on the way to wherever we were going. Despite all common sense telling me to be weary of being trapped in a confined space with a strange homicidal man, I quickly dozed off watching the world whip past the window.

A firm squeeze to my shoulder jolted me awake. I scrambled back until I was flush against the wall as I took stock of my surroundings and remembered where I was. Negan stood still with his hands up to display a lack of threat. 

I took a deep breath and nodded to him that I was cool. He relaxed and the smug nonchalance returned. He motioned that I follow him and we stepped out into the soft light of dawn.

************************************ 

That first week was absolutely surreal as I started to get a good feel for my surroundings. When we'd left the RV we'd gone straight into what I'd later learned was the housing unit for his road warriors. I had no idea why he set me up there rather than in one of the general populous units and I didn't wish to look a gift horse in the mouth. He's written out that the apartment was mine. He told me to get some sleep and he'd send someone with a weeks worth of rations and hygenics later in the evening to tide me over until I had some points if my own. He wrote that he'd return the following day to show me my new job. I signed for thank you and he seemed to understand, saying 'welcome' clear enough that I could read it off his lips.

I'd been disappointed the next day when he'd sent the mustachioed man from before to retrieve me rather than do it himself. It was crazy if me to be anything but terrified and disgusted wth him but he was the first person in several months that made me feel like a person rather than a pitiful obligation. It didn't hurt that he was fun to look at.

The library setup was pretty great. It had been small when I'd first arrived but the crews had brought in several truckloads of books and music and other literary odds and ends since then and it was finally beginning to look like a respectable institution. I had a whiteboard setup at the desk so people could ask questions as they came and went. It was nice to have those brows interactions but I missed just talking to people, connecting on a level behind directing them to this or that. My mind tended to linger in the night Negan had brought me to Sanctuary. It was paltry but it was the most see and heard I'd felt in so long and with nothing much since...

Every couple of weeks the man with the mustache, Simon I think, would bring another box of books for me. He seemed nice enough, always affording me an amiable smile that belied the awkwardness many people tended to carry when it came to communicating with me to any degree. Boxes of books meant late nights inventorying them and sorting them Dewey decimal style. It was tedious work but I don't mind at all. Libraries were always supposed to be quiet so sitting alone in one late at night made my silence feel normal for a while. It was nice.

Months passed and I started to feel more and more alone, just like I had before with my previous group. I loved my job at the library but aside from that first night scribbling notes with Negan, I hadn't had any decent conversation with anyone. I was an island.

It was shipment night and, just as I'd hoped, boxes of books were being unloaded in the docking bay. I busied myself with tidying up my desk in the library as I waited for Simon to bring them up. To my surprise it was Negan who sauntered through the doors just after 10pm. He caught my eye and grinned his hello. I smiled back and waved for him to set the books down at a table. I started to meet him but paused to grab a pen and sketch pad from the desk.

"Thank you"

He smirked and wrote back.

"Of course, dove. How's the new setup going? From what I've heard you've got quite a system going here."

I smiled at the pet name. It was the second time he'd called me that.

"It's nice."

His brow furrowed as he read.

"Just nice? Damn, dove, what from what I'd heard if thought you'd be over the moon. Folks tell me you spend all your time down here like you actually love your job."

He watched me intently as I read and then pondered my response. I twirled the pen through my fingers absentmindedly as I tried to figure out how I was going to say this without sounding unfrateful. A warm hand enveloped my own, stopping the movement of the pen and causing me to jump.

He took the pen back and held his hand out for the pad like a request rather than a demand.

"Don't dance around it, just give it to me straight. What's wrong?"

I chewed the inside of my lip before taking the pen.

"It's just... I don't want to sound ungrateful. It's just lonely I guess."

"Lonely?"

His eyes burned into me as I wrote filling several of the small sketchpad's pages.

"This is the first conversation I've had outside of 'hey, where's this' since I got here. The night you picked me up I'd thought maybe this place would be different but it's not. I'm invisible. I love the library, I do. I love the books and the independence and just having a reason to get up in the morning. I just wish I wasn't alone. You were the first person to talk to me, really talk to me, since I ended up like this. If this is all I'm ever going to have then what's the fucking point."

I was shaking by the time I finished venting it out so that the ink shrugged and lurched across the paper. I threw the pad and pen down on the table and took a deep breath.

I watched him read, saw his eyes flit up to meet mine as he finished. He reached for the pen and hesitated, making eye contact before dipping his head in concentration. I observed his body language as he wrote, trying to get a good read on him. He leaned casually against the table but there was a great amount of tension in his shoulders that didn't match up with the easy swagger he usually held. Everything about him was long, lean, and lithe from the languid stretch of his legs to his leather clad torso. There was no denying that he painted a pretty picture.

He wrote for a long time before flipping back and handing the sketch pad back to me. I couldn't meet his eye both because of the vulnerability I suddenly felt and way I'd been indiscreetly checking him out just moments before.

"Fucking hell, dove, if I'd known that I would have fucking done something about it. I can't believe you spend all your fucking time down here and not one of these fucking pricks has had the decency to provide a little courteous conversation."

His gaze was intense and I met it cautiously.

"It's really not that big of a deal, Negan. I just get lonely."

He had moved closer as I wrote until he was close enough to read over my shoulder, close enough for me to smell the coffee on his breath. Having someone read o we My should would normally have irritated me the piss out of me but the warmth radiating off of him was inviting and his smell nothing short of intoxicating.

I handed the pad and pen back to him, incredibly aware of how close he was.

"A girl as beautiful as you are, Dove, should never feel like that. I've got a proposition for you."

His fingers brushed mine as he relinquished the notepad. His chest pressed against my back as he leaned forward to watch my reply. He had to have known what he was doing, there was no way he didn't. I looked up at him over my right shoulder. He smiled down at me with such warmth I couldn't help but smile back.

"What sort of proposition?"

His tongue poked between his lips as he scribbled his neatly penned reply.

"Thursday nights just you and me right here. Dinner, chit-chat, and you can teach me sign language so we never have to worry about running out of paper."

I bit my lip to keep from grinning like an idiot. Was this cheeky bastard asking me on a date?

"There's just one problem, boss man, I don't know sign language. I can fingerspell and I know a few arbitrary signs but outside of that I'm in the dark."

He was so close now that his beard was tickling my neck.

"Well then, I guess we'll have to learn together."

He pressed a lingering kiss to my temple before smiling and pulling away. My checks burned as I turned to look at him. A cheeky grin brightened his handsome face as I nodded enthusiastically at him. He reached for the notepad again and I happily gave it back.

"Oh, and I think you will find your patrons more courteous and communicative from now on." 

He winked when I looked back up at him before placing a chaste kiss on my forehead and backing away. He made it to the doorway before turning back. He bowed dramatically and stepped backwards into the hall.

************************************

I couldn't help the grin that seemed permanently fixed on my lips after that. Every Thursday night like clockwork he would show up at the library with food and a charming smile. I had a small stack of books set aside specifically for date nights about ASL and a few things I'd read and wanted to share with him. He was an avid reader and a quick study. It wasn't long before he was outpacing me, not that I really minded. I loved spending time with him and even when communication with others at the compounds got easier I found myself looking forward to our next date.

Thursday nights bled into every night, or almost every night, and he was always the perfect gentleman. He flirted shamelessly but never made a move to take it any further than the chaste kiss that ended every date.

I'd wanted more for so long but I was always too scared of ruining everything to try. Watching his beautiful long-fingered hands as he talked about whatever he'd experienced on a trip to one of the satellite communities or something he'd recently read I couldn't help but imagine how they'd feel all over me. I was driving myself crazy and I knew I needed to nut up or shut up. I had to make a move and just hope for the best.

Negan showed up at the library earlier than usual that night, plates of food balanced in each hand and a book under one arm. I set aside the filing that could definitely wait and hurried over to help him before he managed to drop something. I reached for one of the plates but he moved it out of my reach before leaning down and placing a lingering kiss to my lips. 

My breath caught in my theist and then left in a small gasp as he pulled back to pepper more kisses to the top of my nose, the bell of my cheek, and the spot between my eyebrows that always made me smile. He then handed me the plate I'd completely forgotten about before wrapping a long arm around me waist and following me to our usual table. I'm sure the food was fine but all I could think about was the feeling of his lips ok mimsnand everywhere else I wanted them.

After we ate Negan left to dispose of the dishes and I tried my best to calm my nerves. 

He returned, sitting next to me and reaching for the book he had brought from his personal collection to show me. I'm a burst of confidence I left my chair and straddled his lap, taking the book from him and setting it back down behind me.

His hands had initially rested on my hips and now rose to try to speak but I silenced them with my own.

His eyes darted across my face, trying to get a read on what was going on in my head. I leaned forward and caught his lips in a deep kiss that left me breathless. He kissed me back, beard tickling my face as his scent filled the air around us until I was drowning in him. 

We kissed for an eternity, neither of us in any particular hurry for it to end. His fingers laced through mine where I still held onto him. This moment was everything I had wanted and more and I never wanted it to end.

My heart broke a little when he pulled away, rubbing his nose against mine. I pressed in for another kiss and he smiled against my lips. I pulled away, warmth flooding through me as he smiled down at me with a radiance that filled up every crack deep inside. I pushed myself up with my legs against his to kiss the crinkles at the corner of his eyes as he smiled and I felt his laughter quake through his chest and into mine.

My hands left his to cradle the back of his head as I peppered his face with kisses much the same way he has done to me before. A long finger stroked down the bridge of my nose as I pulled away and he leaned backwards to sign.

# Slow down, dove, I want this to last. #

He kissed me again and I felt every worry I'd had about trying to move forward slip away. As long as he kept smiling at me like that, I knew everything was going to be okay.


End file.
